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How masculine and feminine energy affects psyche and family dynamics

Season #1

In this episode of Integrative You Radio, the hosts explore the dynamics of masculine and feminine energies, shedding light on their personal experiences and societal influences. They emphasize the distinction between these energies and physical sex, urging listeners to strive for a balance between the two for personal growth and harmonious relationships. The hosts challenge the idea of a one-size-fits-all approach and underscore the importance of self-awareness in this journey.

Listeners are encouraged to embrace both masculine and feminine energies, recognizing that a harmonious blend can lead to optimal well-being and fulfilling connections. Tune in to gain insights into the intricate interplay of these energies and their impact on our lives and relationships, ultimately offering a path to greater self-discovery and balance.

Interested in learning more about Dr. Nick & Dr. Nicole’s courses, memberships, or private work? Learn more at Integrative You. Have a quick question, Would you like to schedule a 

call, or just want to say hi? Text us at 732.913.0009.

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What you’ll learn:    

  1. Energies vs. Gender: Masculine and feminine energies are distinct from gender and should not be limited by societal expectations or stereotypes.
  2. Balance is Key: Striving for a balanced blend of these energies is essential for personal growth and harmonious relationships.
  3. Self-awareness Matters: Self-awareness plays a pivotal role in harnessing and navigating these energies effectively, leading to personal transformation and more fulfilling connections.


"Energy is always in a state of balance." - Dr. Nick

"We need to abandon the societal constructs around what feminine and masculine look like."  - Dr. Nicole


Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Integrated View Radio.

I am here with my co-host.

Doctor. Nick? Don't don't forget that people can't see you on the podcast

even though we are doing a video.

Visualization. It's key in life. So we're talking about a really interesting topic today,

and this is talking about the balance or imbalance of masculine and feminine energy.

And I wanna just kind of set the stage as to why we're talking about this specific topic.

And I know that Nick has had his own experiences one,

working with clients around this specific area.

And two, being married to Doctor. Nicole.

That is very, very true, which we're gonna make sense of momentarily

because if you don't know already from listening to our podcast,

that, I definitely uphold a pretty masculine energy.

Her balls may be bigger than mine.

And we've consistently teased Nick that he is very highly sensitive.

Not not wrong. But there were two scenarios that got me really thinking about this topic.

And one was around a client that we were working with that was a

young individual around the age of eleven

and he was struggling with his sexual identity.

And of course, we wanna dig in to,

you know, what is the root of this? And as we were diving in and asking better questions,

there was a lot of pressure around him saying that,

well, if you're highly sensitive, they call it HSP,

a highly sensitive person, then chances are your trans.

And I think that a lot of us know it's it's just not that black and white,

you can be highly sensitive as a male,

as a female. It doesn't dictate your sexual preference.

So that was one of the topics that got the wheels turning.

The other topic that got the wheels turning was when I was at the Joe Despenza event,

and experienced, a testimony of a fifteen-year-old boy who got on stage

and said that he came there because he couldn't hear out of his right ear,

and it happened around the age of twelve.

And since twelve, he has no ability to hear out of that right ear.

And he regained his hearing at the event.

The moment where his hearing came back was when he heard another man in the crowd cry.

And not just cry,

but release. Like, an ultimate moment of vulnerability.

And it was that moment that he gave himself permission to cry.

And he literally regained his hearing in moments.

We're gonna get so deep on energy today.

It's gonna be awesome. And this was this was such a huge,

moment because for those of you that are unaware,

the left and the right-sided body of the body are synergistic with different energies.

So we have the left side of the body, which is more in alignment with your feminine energy,

and the right side of the body is masculine energy.

So it every time someone tells me that they have specific set of symptoms on one side of the body,

I always think about that piece

and what does that what piece or what part does that play in the overall big picture.

So coming from the first example that you talked about is that you know,

confusion around sex, and this is the confusion part is that people are misinterpreting sex.

Sex is literally the whole anatomy of a woman and a man.

It's sex has nothing to do with feminine and masculine.

And because of language,

we get confused and controlled very easily when we misinterpret language,

because language, you know, getting right into the depths of it,

language is the vibration that creates the field.

You know, we talked about Bruce Lipton. If you haven't looked up epigenetics

or understand epigenetics,

epigenetics has been proven that it is the environment that

actually dictates the cell signaling of the DNA.

So turning either on or off, activating or deactivating a gene.

In the body is actually determined by the energy of the field.

Our words are the vibration that and our thoughts of operation that carry that information out,

which we're gonna get deeper into that second scenario.

It took a little bit of pre-framing there.

But understanding that sex, is,

literally, do you have a penis? Do you have vagina?

That's sex. Masculine and feminine are two completely different aspects

of energy that honestly have something to do with sex,

but don't have anything to do with sex is completely separate.

Because when you really study the energy of masculine and feminine.

The energy of creation, all energy is in a state of balance.

So which means is that the needs to be a balance of both masculine

and feminine energy for optimal performance.

The confusion is when we become

and display the traits of either overly masculine or overly feminine.

Is that what you just looked at me? There there was a pause.

I was like, what was that? There was a pause in a glance at Doctor.

Nicole is when we are overly displaying these traits and we'll get deeper into why that is or under,

you know, you're always gonna have the balance of over and under.

And that confuses us because our thoughts or actions,

those create the feelings. That we have.

And then we have these feelings that,

oh, I'm feminine or, oh,

I'm masculine, and it might not match up to my sex.

And when we don't understand that, that's when we get confused,

and that's when we're confused, that's when we're gullible.

That's when we can be influenced. Because we're not concrete.

We're not grounded in who we are, the identity,

the, what I would call the truth, which is But nobody's talking about this.

That's why as well. So nobody necessarily has any foundational information.

We just have a lot of external opinions,

external feedback that is then influencing our emotions and influencing our perception.

And it gets very confusing. And the people that do talk about it is like,

no, there's only two. There's there's a male and a female,

a dick and a vagina. And like they're coming from an over-masculine standpoint of you're stupid

for trying to make up all these different identities,

which, I mean, could be easily arguable,

But that's not how, like,

that's not how to change somebody's mind. And the goal isn't to change somebody's mind.

The goal is to educate somebody

so they can have more awareness

as they can make best decisions to serve themselves because everything,

every single decision that we make, it's based on trying to best serve ourselves.

So if somebody is literally identifying as something else,

they're doing it not to not to rebel.

They're doing it to try best benefit themselves.

And we understand that then we can meet them where they're at,

help educate, and then they can either continue to make whatever

decision they feel is gonna best serve themselves.

That's everybody's on their own journey in life.

Yeah. And so the the,

little smurks were giving each other about me being overly masculine,

you know, I just wanna kind of share a little bit more about this con-up.

So, you know, when I was younger,

there was a lot of things that I perceived,

and a lot of it, Okay.

Let me backtrack here because in my journey of working on some of these things that I observe,

in my childhood that made me who I am today,

which obviously I am massively grateful for.

But at the same time, there has been ways that it has set me back.

And now because I'm very committed to my own personal growth,

I know that this layer is something that has to be addressed in order

to continue that trajectory of moving forward

and growing myself.

So that's the foundation of why I've even explored this.

But I had a lot of issues on the left side of my body,

and Nick would constantly joke with me that,

oh, how is that feminine side of yourself?

And, of course, you become a parent,

you become a mother, and, and you start to really tap into that feminine side naturally.

That's when it really can come to your awareness of like,

wow, why is this something that I feel so uncomfortable with?

And Nick asked me the question. He goes,

what is the first word that comes to your mind when I say the word feminine or femininity?

And I said weakness. And that is based on my observation as a young individual.

I observed women that were taken advantage of.

I observed women that were treated poorly.

They didn't speak up for themselves. They took the abuse,

verbal, physical, and they felt that they deserved it.

And I also observed,

both of my parents, not just my mother,

not being able to make it up the ladder to create any level of financial stability,

as well as financial freedom. They worked for corporations.

They you know, were loyal, they they showed up,

they did their work, and they just never got ahead.

If anything, they lost jobs and had to start from scratch.

So there was a lot of observations that made me think that it wasn't safe to be feminine.

It didn't it wasn't safe to be vulnerable.

It wasn't safe to be sensitive.

It that wasn't safe. When Nicole first when I first started dating,

she goes, I don't snuggle. Now she loves to snuggle.

Yeah. I was I was very masculine. You know,

and of course, this served me for a period of time.

It allowed me to create some level of success,

but as mentioned, is you hit a point in time that you're you're proud of your accomplishments,

but you feel like there's something off.

There's something missing. There's something holding you back.

And that is what started this exploration.

And I realized that I was missing out on

so much sweetness of life because I was constantly suppressing my feminine energy.

And I do feel that there was a level of safety with being with a partner that I really trust

that I know I have the opportunity to be vulnerable with.

And I also understand that not everyone feels safe enough to be vulnerable,

and you're going to lean into that masculine energy until that changes.

And so as what we're talking about is a lot of the embrace of one energy

versus the other is it's a safety mechanism.

It's a protection mechanism. It is a mechanism that we see that allows us to get ahead.

And what I mean by that too is you might be the person that's relating to this masculine of,

oh, yeah. I'm kinda masculine too, and it's because I don't wanna be weak,

and I don't wanna be vulnerable. I don't wanna be taken advantage of.

That can make sense to a lot of people

because they've had experiences where they've been betrayed and they said,

while going up. Or it could just be the standard of your childhood.

You know, it's like, grew up in a childhood, very competitive as an athlete,

and we were always, you know,

joking, but it's not really a joke when it's repetitive over and over and over.

It's like, who was the hardest hitter in football?

Who got the most amount of home runs in baseball?

Like, who had the fastest track time, like all these things,

and that is masculine energy of,

like, I I'm the best. I am bigger.

I'm stronger. I'm faster. So that it was interesting because energy is always in a state of balance.

You know, energy can't be gained. Energy can't be lost.

It's only transferred to new forms.

And what's brilliant of working with people

and just having that self-reflective awareness is that We,

our own energy systems always in a state of balance.

And then when you have a relationship, that creates own dynamic of balance,

and then you compound a family dynamic of energy,

and that has a balance. And what's beautiful is if you look at this big enough,

every community every state, every nation,

every world, every galaxy.

It just keeps compounding more and more. The energy's always in state of balance,

but I was always overly this masculine kid growing up because that was part of me,

my edge being competitive of. I was highly sensitive person,

but I ignored that and suppressed that.

And then I started dating Nicole. I was like,

Oh, this is great. She's carrying this masculine energy.

I can actually step back and not be that part of myself,

and I can tap into my highly sensitive person

and that allowed me to flourish and energy work and all these quote-unquote right brain sensitive,

intuitive, connective aspects,

but that created another imbalance force.

So we always use the moment.

We always use the relationship to serve ourselves.

However, as Doctor. Nicole is saying, that can only get us

so far when we're still in a state of unbalance

because there's only going to be limitations when we have too much or too little of something.

When we are in a state of balance, homeostasis, when we think of health,

you know, energetically, in Chinese medicine,

you think of, like, yin and yang. Like,

when we're in a state of equanimity, there is no limitations.

We're limitless. And that's the goal to come out of all of this.

His understanding is that we can achieve

and receive anything when we are grounded in that state of equanimity.

And I wanna speak to what you just said about your,

like, upbringing because I think that this is this is the other side

of spectrum that I that I wanna discuss is that

when people are more on that feminine energy side,

you know, you, as I was saying before,

is like, you might want to embrace more of that feminine energy

as an individual if that is going to be what's appealing to your ideal partner.

If your ideal partner is that super masculine

and you want to have that individual that you feel taken care of,

you feel safe, you're you like that he or she is rugged.

They could shoot a gun, you know,

and you are going to tap more into that femininity so that you can attract that type of individual.

You know, you're not doing this in your mind,

you're doing this more in your unconscious or your subconscious.

And but also the ramifications of children that are being pushed.

Can I play on that really quick? Sure. It's actually I had

this conversation yesterday with a client,

is that You know, energy is always in a state of balance,

but a lot of times, you know, whether we're unconscious or not,

we love ourselves the most. And you'll have a strong,

let's just say Nicole. We'll have a strong woman like my wife here,

and she's going to want to be with another masculine man.

She doesn't wanna be with this weak individual.

But when we understand the energy is always in a state of balance,

you can't have two alphas in the same pack.

Every single pack, every single team only has one alpha,

and that's that's just how it works. It's from the one to the mini.

And however, that short term,

you know, you can have two alphas coming together,

and that's, quote-unquote, like, a fantasy of

what a lot of these people want in a relationship is they they want the strong,

both connect and all the similarities, etcetera.

Pappy, you gotta get back. I love you. Our dog's trying to get in the,

in the scene. And that can create,

you know, like this honeymoon effect that's, you know,

amazing, passionate, strong sex,

like all these different things. But then it doesn't last.

But there's fucking feuds.

Yeah. Those are gonna be the people you're with that you have the most intense fights.

Because you're essentially same energy.

And you're unconscious. You're going after it.

Unconsciously, we're just trying to figure out who's the leader.

You know, we don't understand that usually consciously in a couple,

but when we can have that self-reflective awareness

when we do understand energy and the flow of it and how to use it,

we realize that in relationships and life,

you're never alpha all the time. You're never masculine all the time.

You're never feminine all the time.

It's about coming into your strengths.

And yeah, there's times where I'm masculine and Nicole feminine.

There's times where she's masculine and I'm feminine.

The more we can work together as a team,

understanding our zones of geniuses,

and allowing her to be masculine when it's out of my zone of genius.

When it comes to business, a man's supposed to run the business.

I don't fucking care about running the business.

She does. She's wearing the pants in the business seat.

It's beautiful.


And but it took me a while initially because I felt guilt,

I felt shame. Well, because of the societal pressures of it.

Exactly. And the same thing is, like, you do so much in the household,

and there's a lot more domestic things than you,

that you do that I don't wanna do,

And, you know, that could be judged by,

you know, individuals externally.

And so that's Pappy is really killing me right now.

So that's, I think, that one of the major intentions

for this podcast is to understand that in relationship dynamics and family dynamics,

we need to take a step back and open the lens or widen the lens to really look at these,

these dynamics of feminine

and masculine, and stop judging them based off of what society tells you is right and wrong,

and just to lean into it because I think what you said about the zone of genius is really,

really, really important. So you know,

they're when it comes to cooking in a household,

it's you know, there's still that stigma that mom should be cooking the dinners

and If the mail is a stay-at-home dad and cooking the dinners and cleaning up the house,

it's, you know, people think, oh, wow,

that's really progressive, but it's still kind of odd.

And really at the end of the day, if that is something that lights him up,

maybe he has a passion for culinary parts,

and he has a passion for making sure his kids are going to be absolutely brilliant,

know how to use their hands, and he wants to be part of that.

And she wants to fulfill her deep purpose of,

you know, success through a career, then there's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

It's staying in your zone of genius

and staying in your zone of what you actually fucking like doing.

And understanding that we're here to evolve,

that might shift over time, you know,

after everything that we do comes from feeling our void.

So once we get our void filled,

guess what, that dynamic might change. Once Nicole gets everything that she needed,

from running businesses and serving humanity,

that might, that might shift for her,

and same thing for me. So it's about understanding that who you were

yesterday doesn't have to dictate who you are today

and what you're going to be in the future.

It's allowing that opportunity

and that space to be able to jump into that right brain that created that feminine energy,

but guess what? Every form of creation starts in the creative aspect

and it comes into form through the masculine energy.

So that is honestly why we are a combination of both energy because, for creation to occur,

we have to have both energies. So it's ignorance to think that somebody's only one energy.

That's not how creation works. That's not how the flow of energy works.

And it's just getting actually getting rooted back into true science,

not this dogma science, and being able to use that to serve yourself

because that's why we're here to learn how to love ourselves every single

day because we can't give something we don't have.

And literally working with clients working on ourselves,

we realize that the only true currency in life,

it's not money, it's energy.

And if we're giving our energy away and that only occurs by coming out of love,

getting into this world of duality wasting energy,

like The only energy is actually getting back into our true authenticity,

being our uniqueness, tapping into that zone of genius,

and loving ourselves, serving ourselves.

And in doing so, we're allowing that love to spread out.

Did we? Okay. We're back. I think that another important

thing is abandoning the societal constructs.

And these constructs It's not recording,

is it? Mhmm.

Glitch. I think we had a little glitch in the system.

So we're, we're back at it.

So one of the main points I want to make is we need to abandon the societal constructs around

what feminine and masculine look like.

And what I mean by that is if you are a parent

and you have a child who seems more highly sensitive,

This has nothing to do with their sexuality,

their sexual preference. And we need to abandon the idea that

if your son doesn't want to play football

or doesn't want to hunt or doesn't want to,

you know, do some other type of extreme impact sport,

but is more interested in music, there there's nothing wrong with that

because that's just his preference.

And if your daughter wants to play football and play the drums,

then there's no reason to say that's not

what girls do because I know these constructs are still happening in,

you know, in society. Is that this is feminine,

and this is masculine, and you need to subscribe to that.

And really at the end of the day is that everyone has the opportunity to

embrace whatever energy they lean into.

It's it's us as a society that creates a judgment against that,

which creates a stigma and creates a perception.

And the more that we can give people freedom in order to

do what is in their zone of genius and what makes them happy,

that's how we're going to evolve so society so that we are a less depressed,

anxious, and unwell society.

Percent. I mean, and getting kind of like to that second clause

and the Joda spends of the child who lost his hearing in the right ear,

it's just understanding that every symptom that a person has

is a feedback mechanism to help increase the

person's awareness that we have blocked that communication of serving ourselves,

of loving ourselves, of allowing ourselves to be authentically who you are,

And when we, like that kid,

soon as he felt the energy,

you know, because if he Losses hearing,

he couldn't hear that gentleman cry.

First, he actually felt the release of the energy coming from that masculine,

allowing that feminine energy to rush out And once he actually felt that vibration,

poof, that heal.

Because in G came back into a state of balance.

There was a balance between the right brain and the left brain.

Everything you hear in the right ear goes and activates the left core checks.

So he allowed the balance of energy.

Energy is what drives, what, neurology.

Neurology goes through and creates biochemistry.

So allowing that balance of energy to come in actually healed his deficiency of hearing,

which is only a symptom. We diagnose things

and then we were taught to believe that that's who you are,

which is fucking bullshit. It's it's all lie,

literally. So we need to start forgetting all of the bullshit

that we've been programmed in this dogma science

and start remembering the truth of who we are and acknowledging that,

accepting that, and display One point that I wanna make

as we wrap up here is when we're talking about this individual,

this young boy who lost his hearing,

And then he felt that release of energy of that other man in the

crowd and felt this ultimate vulnerability that allowed him to be vulnerable and result his ear.

What I want you guys to understand is that the magnitude So when he lost his hearing,

which I have no idea what the circumstance was,

but I would assume he there was something that happened at a high magnitude,

meaning a high emotional magnitude that made him feel that he

could not express any level of vulnerability

or express any level that would show,

quote, unquote weakness or femininity. And that could have been a,

a fight with a person he really loved and trusted.

It could have been, you know, it had to bid something that was an extreme magnitude.

And then when he felt the same magnitude is when he was able to release that physical symptom.

And so this is really important for those of you that feel just generally confused on who you are,

generally confused on your identity, generally confused on your purpose.

Feminine and masculine might be playing a role.

I'm sure that there's more to the story, but if you have had a massive intense magnitude,

especially like an assault from an opposite sex.

You are going to have a lot of strong emotions towards that individual,

pa possibly even that gender. And you're gonna move into protection,

and you're gonna embrace the polar opposite other side.

And so this is really important because if you are in a place that you're just like,

I'm writing off this, and I'm going to fully embrace this.

And now I hate all of this gender or all of this race.

It might be due to the shifts in your neurology,

your biochemistry, and your genetics that happened

because of the in the very high magnitude of a situation that you experienced.

The body and the brain are very, very fascinating,

and they're always looking to adapt. And of course,

our ego is there to protect us.

But sometimes it's a matter of that will serve you for a period of time,

but it will then hold you back in many other parts of life.

And even if that is just the inability to feel joy or inability to feel gratitude or happiness,

And that is something that is going to cause disease and weigh on you in all parts of life.

Alright, guys. We got deep. So let us know what you think.