Title: Unveiling Authenticity: Navigating Growth, Values, and Self-Discovery with Colin Eggelsfield
Host: Dr. Nicole Rivera & Colin Eaglesfield
Dr. Nicole (00:01.211)
Hello, everyone. So welcome back to another episode of Integrative U Radio. And we have a very special guest here. So Colin Eagleswood, or Eaglesfield, I'm sorry. So you have lived many lives. And you have been model, actor. And now, are you classing yourself as a speaker, teacher, author, all of the above?
I'd say all of the above. I'd say now that I have written my book four years ago, Agile Artist, I guess it just kind of backhandedly turned into being a motivational speaker because I went on what I thought was going to just be a book tour, which was what I thought I was going to just be sitting and signing books and taking pictures. And I started showing up at these Barnes and
a podium and people sitting in seats and I was like, oh, yeah, I got to say something to these people. I guess I have to talk. So I started telling my story and what I realized, you know, growing up, I always was very shy being in front of audiences. And a big part of my book is talking about how to overcome your self-conscious belief systems about who we are in order for me to be able to...
fulfill on my dream of becoming a professional actor. And a lot of what I've learned in my acting classes has been incredibly beneficial to me, not only in front of the screen, and it's been responsible for my success in front of the camera and as a professional actor. But I realized that it was really incredibly beneficial in my personal life, just with my personal relationships and my ability to start getting up in front of people and actually saying things without my body completely.
literally shutting itself down with hyperventilating and sweating. And that was pretty much how I got set up on this whole journey of really trying to find out what were the things about me subconsciously, because a lot of the stuff that we think about who we are when I started to realize the things that were holding me back, I just didn't know. What was it that was holding me back from
loving being in acting class doing these scenes, but as soon as you put me in a room with a casting director, a producer, and a director who subconsciously brought back the feelings of me being back in school and being judged by my classmates and my teachers and wanting to make sure I was doing it right and a lot of what I had to do to become a professional successful professional actor was
unlearn a lot of these subconscious belief systems that I didn't even realize I was holding on to. And this is what I really found interesting about as I was going through my acting journey, just really meeting some fascinating life coaches and acting teachers and listening to Tony Robbins and John Demartini, just to really try to figure out what was preventing me from being able to be my best self in these rooms.
and trying to figure out how to overcome my insecurities about my self-awareness in front of audiences.
Dr. Nicole (03:31.931)
It's always so interesting that we get faced with these times in our life that we have to look inward and we have to do that scary deep dive of self-reflection. But I think we both know that's where all of the beautiful growth happens. And I found it so interesting that we, you know, from many miles apart, we have aligned in this idea of values. And I know personally finding
this or even researching this idea of values, which I was personally introduced from Dr. Demartini. It was because I was just felt really stuck and I felt very unclear. And I realized that most of the decisions I was making in my life and most of the big goals that other people looked at that made me successful was because there was so much influence on what I should do and what I should be and how I should grow.
And then you get to a point that on paper, you're doing all the things and you've achieved X, Y, and Z, but it doesn't even feel that great anymore. And you just kind of sit around and you're like, technically I should be really grateful, but I just feel a little lost and a little sad and I can't really talk about it because nobody gets it.
After you became a chiropractor and established yourself and had what most people would deem as a successful career, right? My journey was I had gotten to a place in my acting career where I had done something borrowed with Kate Hudson, done this movie with Sylvester Stallone, had been on the client list with Jennifer Love Hewitt and Rosalie and Isles for six years. Most actors would look at that.
Dr. Nicole (05:02.711)
That's a successful acting career. And I was at that place and I was like, why do I still feel like there's something empty or missing or what is it that, am I just ungrateful that I'm not able to appreciate everything that I have? Because I was grateful and I was proud of myself for accomplishing it, but it was weird. I just still felt like there was something on a deep.
self-identity level, I guess you could say, that I still wasn't fully accessing or really feeling like my true purpose was being utilized. And that's what set me on this journey. This was about probably seven or eight years ago when I decided to leave Los Angeles and embark on this journey of really trying to do some soul-searching and figure out what is
the real reason why I'm here.
Dr. Nicole (06:21.283)
I think what you're saying is really encouraging for a lot of people though because there are a lot of people that feel that way and they don't speak up about it because they don't wanna sound like they are ungrateful or they almost don't even wanna say it to themselves because they're like, well, what next? And I think that a lot of times when we have big lofty goals for our life, no matter if we know it or we don't in the moment, we're very...
growth-oriented, we're very, you know, we're always thinking about the next step or the next big thing. And there's nothing wrong with that. It's okay to always strive bigger. And I encourage that for people because we live in a world in a society where it's, you know, be happy, you know, you don't have to go that big, or you don't have to have this or you don't have to have that. But
It's about our values. It's about everyone's blueprint of what's gonna make them feel really, really abundant and fulfilled within is extremely different. And it's not about the external all the time. It's not about the money and it's not about the fame and it's not about the things. It's about what's important to us and what's going to allow us to wake up every day and truly, truly be so unbelievably grateful for our life.
Exactly. And if I could ask you, after you were in that place and you started, I guess, going on your personal journey of trying to discover what was it that was missing, what would you say you've discovered through your journey that has enabled you to shed some light on what was missing in your life?
Dr. Nicole (07:57.905)
Dr. Nicole (08:09.555)
I think everything was phases for me. So phase one was, I felt reactive, hence some of the topics we're talking about today, but I felt reactive from a perspective of, reactive and judgmental. Judging certain people for how they lived their life. One thing that I judged a lot was when things came easily to people because I felt like it was very difficult for me
do the things that I was doing or accomplish the goals. It just seemed like there was always an added level of obstacles or an added level of stress. So I found myself being a bit judgmental, bitter resentment to my external. And then when I learned about this concept of values and how everyone's values is different, it really freed me of the judgment because everyone is making decisions based off of their set of values.
And I realized that if somebody makes a decision that I'm judging, it's just because our values are different. There's no right or wrong when it comes to values. It's just who you are. And so that was very, very impactful for me because then I stopped giving energy or wasting energy in different areas of my life. Of course, my dogs are gonna bark right now, that's fine. We're real and raw on this podcast, guys. So.
That was step one. And then step two came to the point in time that I was like, okay, I'm this chiropractor, integrative medicine doctor. And I was feeling, I became a mom and I was just feeling like, who am I? You know, like, you know, because I was scared about abandoning all of my professional endeavors by now being a mom, but I wanted to be a great mom. And I was, I think society teaches you that you can't have both. It's an either-or.
And so I was trying to figure out who is this 2.0 version of me. Now that's going to prioritize a family but also prioritize a career. And I ended up working with someone who was actually trained by Dr. Demartini and he was also very big into meditation from Dr. Joe Dispenza. And he was going through values with me, helping me refine my values. And then he was helping to me to refine my vision.
Dr. Nicole (10:33.603)
and he asked me about my professional vision, rattled it off really quick. He asked me about my vision as a wife and mother, rattled it off really quick. And then he asked me about myself, my personal vision. And I was like, okay, that is really interesting that I cannot answer this question. Like, he's like, he was like, oh, okay.
He's like, what do you look like? What do you wear? Like, what is your physique? Like, you know, how do you stand? Like, he was just trying to ask basic things and I was sitting there, I was like, wow, this is a very eye-opening moment for me. And that is when I knew I had to dig deeper into who I was as a person, not as an external, you know, friend or mom or professional. And that...
That was really, really huge. And it took a while. It really did. It took a while, but it was the most profound as because it wasn't overnight either. It was these micro steps of getting more and more clear. And every time it was just more and more profound. And then you see everything around you change. The people that come into your life, the opportunities that present themselves, and that's how you know.
You're like, I'm more in alignment with me.
Yeah, I just realized I was able to be up in front of audiences a lot more, just with a lot more ease once I started to identify myself as the value system of inspiration or self-expression is another big value that I identify myself with. And then boldness.
And so essentially what I started to do, yeah, and I started to identify myself not as Colin because I think a lot of us really, I mean, who really, who are we? I mean, I was born in Michigan, moved to Chicago, grew up as, you know, I was grew up in the Catholic Church, went to Catholic grade school, grew up a Chicago Bears fan, went to University of Iowa. So.
Dr. Nicole (12:35.675)
we get these labels placed on, I'm a Hawkeye because I went to the University of Iowa, I'm a Chicagoan because I talk like Chicago, you know, hey, wise guy, you know. And so culturally, it's easy for us to identify as the place or the culture where we grew up in. And what I like to describe it as a lot of the times we get miscast as the character or the actor.
in our own life. And that's where I think a lot of our anxiety and frustration comes in life, where I think we've all seen movies where we've seen actors that shouldn't be in that movie, but they're like, you know, and the example I like to use, because I love Tom Cruise, but I think the movie that he was miscast in was Interview with a Vampire. And when you watch the movie, it's like even Anne Rice, who wrote the book,
Dr. Nicole (13:52.885)
Oh, okay. Love that movie.
was resistant to having Tom Cruise being cast as the lead in that role, because she didn't think he was the right character or the right essence of the main character. And I think the same thing happens to us where we just feel like we are cast into this role of being the middle child, or, you know, for me, my dad was a doctor, so I kind of felt like I had to go to school and go to college, and then I was...
Dr. Nicole (13:59.313)
Dr. Nicole (14:11.752)
biology pre-med in my senior year of college. I was just having this, I guess, identity crisis because I was like, I don't know if I really want to become a doctor. The idea sounds nice and maybe I like helping people, but does that mean being in a hospital and just cutting people in blood? I just was like, no, really. I feel like, and I talk to a lot of people because I do some coaching myself and a lot of people feel like.
they're thrust into this role that they're not, they almost kind of assumed it rather than consciously choosing it. And this is where, once I started to realize where I was living my life in reaction to my circumstances and my acting classes and my acting teachers really helped me start to identify consciously as the roles that I was choosing.
as actors, we have to consciously create the character that we are being when we walk into a room to be believable in front of like 40 Warner Brothers network executives. And we do a lot of character analysis as actors. What is your core value system? What is your big dream? What is your sponsoring thought around everything that dictates your behavior? And I started to walk into these rooms being super confident about the characters that I was playing.
But in my real life, I was like, I know these characters better than I know my own self. And so I started to turn the microscope, I guess, inward towards me and started doing some of the same character analysis to myself. And once I started doing that stuff, I started realizing that one of my core values was people-pleasing. One of my core values was wanting to be liked. One of my...
Dr. Nicole (16:01.319)
deep core values was not wanting to do it wrong. And I realized these were the value systems that I identified with in order to fit in, in order for me to be liked. But what I realized it was doing and what my acting teachers were very rigorous with me and all of the students there, they were like, stop! Stop performing for us. Stop acting.
Dr. Nicole (16:50.755)
Who is this character that is in front of us right now? Because what I'm looking at is just this fake idea of what an act or what of a character is. And so she was really rigorous with us in being honest and truthful and authentic about our characters. And it just sort of started to translate into my personal life. And when I first started to think of the idea of speaking up for myself and...
saying what Colin wanted, I was like, oh shit, I'm terrified. Like, what if people don't like me or what if my friends think I'm whatever? But I think that's the only way to really, truly step into your authentic personal self. And that can be very scary because our brains need to know certainty. And when we don't know what's on the other side of that, we tend to stay in our small little.
Dr. Nicole (17:40.989)
cocoon in our little box, even if it's a shitty situation because at least we know it's shitty. And we're more likely to stay in an abusive relationship or a crappy situation or a crappy job because at least we know what it is. The fear of the unknown is actually scarier to our brains than the shitty situation that we're in. And that's the little part where,
Dr. Nicole (17:53.517)
Once I realized that and I started to venture out of, even though it wasn't comfortable, it was still in a lot of ways a comfortable place because at least I knew what it was. And this is what I talked about, what I encourage my clients to really examine and step out of and into their true self-identity and personal, what I like to call your soul purpose here on this.
on this planet.
Dr. Nicole (18:47.527)
And I think it's really profound what you're saying because, you know, when a lot of us are of that mindset because we've been taught it by religion and culture and family of, you know, you want to be liked and don't make waves and, you know, people please take care of others before you take care of yourself. You know, that's what being a good person is. And
It is scary at first when we start to get more acquainted with who we are, and then when we start to exercise our voice in a different way. But what people don't always understand right off the bat is that if you are people-pleasing and you are not your authentic self, there is a lot of people in your life that really shouldn't be because they are the people that are potentially draining you, taking advantage of you, that are quote-unquote,
you know, toxic if you are aware of it or not. So when you start to be more of your true self, you start to attract more of your people. You know, they call it your tribe. And you start to have more, you know, high-level conversations or vulnerable, raw conversations. And you don't have to put on a show of this is, you know, who I am today and this is who I am tomorrow. And I really say that because
What is a life with people around us that are constantly judging us or draining us, or we just feel like there's an unfair exchange? Life is supposed to be about connection with people that are, it's a fair exchange. I don't want to even say that it's fulfilling. You know, of course, you have laughter with those people, you have fun with those people, but it's just a very fair exchange. They, you know, you're supported, they're supported.
And I think that's something we need to strive for. Because I don't know about you, but you go out and you sit at a restaurant and you hear it. It's like, people, oh, can you believe this? Can you believe that? And to me, I'm just like, I just can't believe people spend the bulk of their energy talking about people that they actively have in their lives that they like actively dislike. I'm just like, I just can't believe people spend the bulk of their energy
Or actively talk about people that they don't even know. And like, did you see what Kim Kardashian did this weekend? As if like, they know them personally, and it really matters, you know? And it's just, and you know, not to say that, you know, entertainment isn't there to keep us in, just have something to talk about that's fun. But when it becomes your life, and when people-
people become obsessed about things that have really no impact on their own lives and they get so absorbed in other people's lives. That's where I think it becomes a problem because you're just sitting around talking about things instead of actively doing something about your own life to create the kind of life that you really wanna have. And that can be very confusing and very scary. And especially when it comes to
starting to challenge or think about some of the things that your parents taught us, our parents taught us, and our teachers and religion. And when you start to question things like, for me personally, the concept of the Catholic church, I mean, I think religion has a great place in society in terms of creating connection and community. But I think some of the belief systems and dogma and doctrine can really
do damage to us psychologically and yeah.
Dr. Nicole (22:31.411)
creating guilt and shame. And, you know, as you know, it's, especially when you hear Dr. Demartini speak who brings the science into these emotions, he's like guilt and shame is some of the absolute lowest vibration that is out there. And if you constantly, if you say it or you don't, that's the place that you live is feeling guilt and shame about everything you do, you think, you wear, et cetera. There's just no possible way you can be healthy. There's no possible way you can
Have a good life.
Yeah, yeah. When your behaviors and your belief systems are based on the foundation of fear, and fear being, well, if I don't do what my religion is telling me to do, or if I question my parents, that can be a very scary place because these institutions, religion have been around for thousands of years. And so we just kind of
take it as like this is the way it is and who am I to question this and if I do question this then you know I'm going to be relegated to the depths of hell or whatever that means for whoever whatever religion that you believe in and so religion can be dangerous in a lot of respects because it prevents you from truly looking inward to yourself and nurturing
how you feel about certain things. And it just keeps us in a place that is subservient to an idea that was created thousands of years ago. And we, you know, it's not.
Dr. Nicole (24:18.747)
that has also been manipulated by generations after. You know, the readings are, and the lessons are not the same as they were even a thousand years ago. So that's what people are not necessarily taking into consideration. And I'm, you know, I have this smirk on my face because I was kicked out of Sunday school. But as you were saying earlier, is you were mentioning how
for asking me some of the questions.
Dr. Nicole (24:48.315)
you know, your upbringing can create this stigma around who you should be. You know, you have your father's the doctor or, you know, you were the football player or whatever it is. And it's shaped that influence can shape who you think you're supposed to be. But I actually had the opposite experience, which has equally as many benefits and drawbacks because I looked at my external and my upbringing and I was like,
I wanna be the polar opposite of all of that. And so, my parents working for big corporations, doing their best, can't work their way up the ladder. My dad ended up fired, just like a lot of struggle, always talking about struggle, barely can pay the bills. And it was just like the conversations, it was just constant victimization and struggle. And...
I was like, I don't know what I have to do, but I will just do whatever I have to do to not be this. And so there, that will got me to a certain place. But hence you get to that place. And then you're just like, well, I did this to avoid a bad situation. But now I have a different situation because I did a lot of things that weren't necessarily in alignment with me. It was just
It was a survival mechanism, essentially. And so, you know, for people, we have to kind of think about it in that realm is, are we doing things because it's what we're supposed to do based off of our upbringing and our society and our religion and our culture, or are we running so far in the opposite direction, but it's still out of alignment? You know, we have to ask those questions to ourselves to say, you know, who am I, and what is important to me?
Dr. Nicole (26:43.215)
You know, we do values actually with all of our healthcare clients. And we have a, we work with a lot of young individuals and sometimes the parents are like, my kid is five. Like you want to do values? And we're like, yup, we did values with our two-year-old. You know, why not start to figure out what is important to this kid right now? Because you can ask questions and he might say, oh, I like dinosaurs and this and that. But with
with the skill set, you can deduct more of what's important. Is fun and laughter important? Is that kid being the leader at the park important? Is that kid being with other kids important because of connection? And so you really decipher what's important and now you can help this child grow, develop, and learn according to their value system. And there's so much beauty in that, opposed to putting them in a box.
Yep. And what's scary is when we hear leadership in this country, you know, some politicians say, you know, that America, you know, has to be number one, or we have to be the best or the winners. Like when you have that type of description of who we are, not only as a country, that has
a tendency to then trickle down into who we are as self-identity. And I think, I mean, what does being number one in the world mean? Like, what is that? Like, how does that make, okay, it makes you feel good from a prideful standpoint, okay, number one and power. So really, what it comes down to is if you start to look at this, you know, Maslow scale of hierarchy of needs, which is what I discovered and I write about him in my book, I found this fascinating in that, you know, we just...
as we go through life, we tend to need things at certain stages of our lives. And in the beginning, it's all about survival. We need food, we need water, we need shelter, and we need to know that we are safe and that we're able to procreate. And then as we feel like we've got those needs met, then we move into feeling the need to connect and have community. And once we have our community and we connect, then we feel the need to then, well, is our community, what is the survival of our community? And how does that?
What do we need to do to make sure that this community is protected? And what do we need to destroy anything that's getting that gets in the way of us being able to survive, but not just survive, but have power and feel good? And so what I started to realize doing some of this research for my book was that we've got three different parts of our brain. We've got the reptilian brain that has those basic needs. And then we've got our mammalian brain, which is the monkey brain, which is all about
creating significance and power and letting people know that I'm here, you listen to me, I am important. You can tell when people speak from either their reptilian brain, which is all about, it's that raw primal and the behaviors that we see where people like are having to rob and steal. I mean, that's survival behavior. And we condemn that instead of looking at, well, why is this person still in that
Dr. Nicole (29:46.369)
that stage of existence and what can we do as a society to help remedy that. But America has this self-identity of every man for himself and we are self-efficient and proficient and don't tell me what I can do or what I can't do. This is America and freedom first. And so a lot of these value systems that pertain to a country can sometimes really
put us at odds with one another in terms of, well, if your identity or your value system is helping people and helping people when they are in need, which is what religion talks about, but then you've got your country value system, which is all about, we gotta fight, we gotta be the number one and be the most powerful, then these value systems come into conflict with each other. And that's why we see different political parties arguing because
when you've got these different ideals and then you've got the whole value system of commercialism and commerce and, you know, the whole idea of a business. And we see this in companies. We see companies that are in business just to make money. So their value system is all about profits and at the expense of anything. And we then also see companies that are.
have a true self-identity like Apple Computer, which is all about think different. And so we identify, that's why Apple has such a strong following because they identify with that self-identity of yes, I wanna be my own unique individual person who thinks differently, and I'm not gonna just follow the masses. And so what's difficult about all of this is that where do we fit into all of this and how do we navigate
this, these all these different value systems with work and relationships and what we see on TV and what's important, you know, is it the Botox and the, you know, hair and the whatever is that the most important thing or is it the most important thing is that you know, someone is going to be there for you when you get sick and you get cancer or whatever and having gone through my own cancer journey myself, I've realized that, you know,
Dr. Nicole (32:12.563)
I'm gonna go to bed.
the most important people in your life are the ones that truly care about you and not just like what you look like or because you were in a movie or a TV show or because you make a lot of money. So this is what I find fascinating about all of it and where I feel like community is really important for us to have a place where we can come together just to even be able to talk about this stuff because what's really frustrating nowadays is it feels like we can't even really have these kinds of conversations without being attacked.
for what we think and what we believe. And when we're still in this arena of trying to figure out who we are, where we fit in, it can make us feel afraid to speak up because we don't wanna get canceled. And that's unfortunately where we're at in the world.
Dr. Nicole (33:16.623)
Yeah. It's interesting how you put it around the, you know, the, the craving for power from such a, from the high up, you know, from the government place. And obviously, that is trickling into a lot of companies that are willing to cut corners at all costs in order to make high profits and, and be the best, best. And, you know, I never really thought about it in, in that way, because
this is something that's cascading down to the fact that people don't live in the present here in the US. And when I was just in Italy, so you've probably heard people say like, La dolce vita, you know, the sweet life, and dolce faniente, which is the sweetness of doing nothing. And I went to multiple places in Italy, and what I've coined is,
Dr. Nicole (34:13.467)
dolce di presente, which is the sweetness of being present. And that's what happens here is that no one's living in the present. They're either living in the pain of their past and making decisions based off the pain of their past, or they are anxious and worried about the possibility of the future that they have no control over. And so when you live either in the past or the present,
Dr. Nicole (34:39.967)
or both simultaneously, you don't live, or you live in the future and not in the present, then that is just going to keep you in a place that you have, your analytical mind is so overworked, and you are constantly reacting to life, and you have totally lost your ability to use your own intuitive compass.
And this is something that I started to learn more about when I got into meditation. And again, I got into meditation because I just felt so lost and I didn't spend any time. I never spent any time just even thinking, let alone thinking, breathing, and asking myself better questions. I didn't take time for that. I was doing, doing. And I know that's a lot of people. They're always doing. And
I realized that, okay, the analytical mind is great. It's the primal brain. It's to protect you. Analyze so you don't die. Analyze so you don't eat that poisonous thing. So we need it. It's very, very necessary. But when your analytical brain takes over and you are so detached from yourself, you're detached from your values, you're detached from who you are,
then you have no counterbalance. You have no counterbalance to make decisions based off of what's gonna serve you or follow your heart as corny as it sounds. You're just making decisions based off of analyzing your external environment that's being influenced by companies and government and society and religion and everything else. And so that pause and that living in the present, even if you start doing it five minutes a day,
is really the game changer because you have a moment to get rid of the phone, get rid of the computer, get rid of the TV, just sit with yourself. Oh gosh, it's scary at first. But it's just, it's going to be the most profound thing you do is take that pause and be in the present.
So I'm sure you meet a lot of your clients who are in the middle of all of this. As I, with my coaching clients, this is exactly what comes up in our sessions and what we talk about. And I help my clients just get very specific and clear about who they are as their value systems. Is that something that you do in terms of what you offer to your clients and how do you help people navigate through all of this?
Dr. Nicole (37:24.495)
Yeah, so we have values, something that we help people determine with their health, because one of the things that we realize, we've been doing this 12 years now, and at the root of symptoms, chronic illness, or any significant diagnoses, there's something more to the story. If it is the past, painful past, trauma.
you know, something significant magnitude that has happened to them in their lives that they either they consciously remember or their body remembers, or they are living in the future, just constantly worried because that's what they were programmed to do, or worry about the future. And, you know, you have to always be one step ahead and they just stay in this anxious state. So some of it is about helping them to determine their values so they can think differently
painful experiences. And then sometimes it's really just about, let's forget about the past, let's just create a vision of the future based off of now having that clarity of what's most important to you. And that's the work that I love to do. My husband loves to go into the past and help them collapse the things that they have experienced. For me, I'm such a visionary and that's my favorite thing to do.
is how to create a vision for the future. And that vision, not siloing that vision out, siloing, meaning siloing it just to your business or just to your health or just to your family. Let's think about the vision of all the major areas of life because they're all equally as important. And you're never gonna be 100% happy if you're thriving your business and then.
your home life is really chaotic and frantic. You know, it's about really figuring out how to balance it all, prioritize it all, according to your values.
Yeah. And I think identifying as well what you truly want in all those aspects, like what do you want in your career, like financially in terms of feeling fulfilled and appreciated, what do you want in your relationship? And I think this is why a lot of marriages fall apart is because I don't think people truly talk about the value systems of each
What is your value or your beliefs around money about how to raise children? And even just even like the smallest things like my younger brother and his wife, one of their children, their daughter, she was crying and they had the disagreement about, well, do we let her cry or do we go in there and we bring her into our bedroom and let her feel safe and then we put her back into the bedroom? And even those kinds of like...
Dr. Nicole (40:03.271)
disagreements can really cause a, you know, a rift in a relationship. And so just getting clear about how each person sees different aspects of a relationship and talking about that before getting into the relationship and then realizing like, well, I'm attracted to you and I have a lot of fun with you, but I really have no idea who you are. And I don't actually like the way that you treat the waiter in the restaurant. And it's like,
I think we get so wrapped up in the appearance of things and the idea of what something is instead of, like you said, being present and really getting to know people and creating the space where people can just be themselves.
Dr. Nicole (41:15.811)
I think what you said is so important because there are so many people that are together and they're getting by. Yeah, they have disagreements and then that child comes into the mix.
And that's when it is so black and white, how different their values systems are. Everything is an argument from, what are we gonna feed the kid? Are they gonna do daycare? Are we getting a knit? And you observe it and you're just like, wow, you guys are really, really misaligned. So we either have to figure out how to get you more aligned by understanding each other's values and then coming to an agreement on the family values.
or we have to go with Plan B, which is... So it's... and this translates to friendships as well. You know, it really translates to everything. If you can be clear on your values, you're going to be able to create that friend group that is your people. You know, they are just... they're your ride or die, you're there for each other, opposed to the people that you quote unquote tolerate.
Yeah, so values, you know, I'm sure you would agree, but I know that it's personally changed all aspects of my life.
Yeah, definitely. And this is what I learned in my acting classes and what I teach in this class that I teach called Beyond Impact. And I also teach a class called Inspire. And in both of these courses, my Beyond Impact class is it's a communications masterclass. And it really gets down to the core of who you are and what you stand for so that you can confidently stand up in front of an audience or in front of a group of people or even just in front of your.
partner or your family and be confident in who you are. And instead of being in reaction to what people say about you because when you see people getting upset and triggered and defending who they are, it's because what I've recognized is that they have a shaky idea about who they really are.
So they're identifying this idea of who they are and who they want to be. No, I'm an honest person. What are you, are you attacking my character? How dare you, I demanded apology. And it's like, you truly were someone who was truthful or honest. You wouldn't have to identify it. You would just let people say whatever they're gonna say and just be like, interesting. Have a good day. See ya. And just move on.
But when we get so triggered, it's because we don't have a strong relationship with that self-identity with who we think we are. It's who we want to be, but because we're not fully owning it, that's when we get triggered or we feel like people see through the facade of what we're putting out there. And that's why people are so nervous to get up in front of people is because they really haven't done this work. And it really just...
I have some writing exercises that I help people just start to write out, who are you and what are your needs physically? Who are you and what are your needs mentally? Who are you and what are your needs emotionally? And then who are you and what are your needs spiritually? And just even doing that little exercise right there, people start to realize like, oh wow, yeah, okay, I didn't realize like my desire to eat ice cream is actually trumping my desire to be healthy.
Dr. Nicole (44:38.864)
Dr. Nicole (44:57.843)
And it's my value system. I realized like you can prioritize what your value systems are, much like Dr. Demartini's on his website. He's got that value priority exercise that you can do. And that was really powerful for me and insightful for me to help me create the stuff that I create and teach in my courses. And it's really awesome to see that once people start to identify.
Dr. Nicole (45:10.823)
consciously with a self-identity such for me as inspiration, self-expression, and boldness. It allows me to get up in front of Instagram live and Facebook live or in front of audiences and just allow that download or that flow of inspiration and boldness and stand up instead of being Colin, cause Colin would freak out and wanna run for the door. I just stand there and be like, okay, what would inspiration do?
right now in this moment. What would boldness do in this moment? And so you identify yourself as the very value that you want to be in life, and that is what allows you to tap into the natural confidence of just being that. And it takes a little practice, and it takes a little analysis of letting go of some of our attachments to these disempowering belief systems. But once you start to
live in this way of being identified, being used by these distinctions or these values, that's what's really made the biggest difference for me in my life and that's what I coach on.
Dr. Nicole (46:42.395)
I don't know if you've heard the story, but before we wrap up, I just wanna say this quick thing, because sometimes when people think about this idea of like really standing in their values, I'm like, what does that mean? But I don't know if you've heard the story about Southwest Airlines. And so companies, especially visionary companies, they have their core values. And what's amazing is when you actually feel those values. But I never flew Southwest up until a couple of months ago.
and they were on the intercom, you know, doing the whole spiel about safety. I was like, they're kind of funny. And they were cracking me up. And I was like, is it intentional or is it just like the flight crew? So anyway, fast forward, I end up reading a book about business and they were talking about one of their core values is fun, loving spirit. And I was like, that's awesome. I really felt that when I was on the plane.
They proceeded to tell the story of a woman who was very upset and wrote a letter to the CEO and saying that if you're gonna be talking about my safety on a plane, you better not put jokes in there. This is a very serious matter, so on and so forth, and proceeded to tell the CEO that they shouldn't do that. Inappropriate, and the CEO wrote back, we will miss you.
Dr. Nicole (48:04.835)
And I was like, that is so awesome. And that's what values are. So if it's a core value of a company or the core value of who you are as a person is that it's your core, it's who you are. So it doesn't matter if somebody pushes back or someone doesn't like it. It's just, this is who I am and I'm gonna stand in my power, in my inspiration of who I am.
Yeah. It's funny, my brother is actually a captain for Southwest Airlines.
Dr. Nicole (48:36.467)
I'm gonna go get out. Ha ha ha.
And he is fun and love through and throughout. So if you get on my brother's airplane and hear, this is Captain Egglesfield, that's gonna be a fun flight, I guarantee you.
Dr. Nicole (48:42.85)
Dr. Nicole (48:50.863)
I love it. That is so awesome. It's really amazing to be able to see, you know, a company with thousands of employees, you know, have that, that value live on. So if they can do it as an individual, we can, we can do it too.
Another funny story, there was a flight attendant, there was a flight that was delayed and there, and then eventually I guess it was canceled. I believe this was Southwest and there was a big long line to go to the front desk then to rebook flights and there's this guy that just cut in line and he was just like being rude and he was like, you know, I need to have a flight rebooked right now. Don't you know who I am? And the flight.
Attendant who is behind the gate goes, excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, anyone here in the gate has if you have any idea who this guy is, it seems that he's forgotten who he is. He's asking if we know who he is. I don't. So if anyone here knows who he is, come on here and let him know, or let me know.
Dr. Nicole (49:55.663)
literally just like die all in the fall. That is amazing. So I'm going to fly South West from now on. That is so great. Well, it has been an absolute blast connecting with you. It's amazing how we are essentially speaking the same language, you know, to two different groups of people. But I am so happy to know that, you know, we are
Like, you're a genius, right?
Dr. Nicole (50:23.623)
helping to ripple this information out because it is so, so absolutely necessary. So you have a book, you have some courses, you have some classes, can you tell people a little bit more about that, where to find you, where can they get your book, all that good stuff?
Sure, and thank you for the opportunity. My book is called Agile Artist, it's available on Amazon. And it really is all about the lesson, it's called Agile Artist, Life Lessons from Hollywood and Beyond. So it's all the life lessons that I've learned in my journey in becoming a professional actor in terms of just the mental belief system of when I first decided to go out to Hollywood, that imposter syndrome of who do I think I am to think that I could be the next Tom Cruise and...
And just recognizing that was really the main thing that was holding me back in my career. And that we are our own worst enemies in terms of fulfilling on our dreams and our goals. And how do we identify what those limiting beliefs are, those blind spots in our subconscious to be able to allow us to shine a light on those and surround it with love instead of ignoring it and recognizing it. Because a lot of it has to do with some of the...
experiences and traumas that we've experienced when we were growing up. And we carry that with us into our present day life. And a lot of times we just haven't really shined a light on that and identified not necessarily, you know, you can't change the past, but what is the meaning that we are giving these experiences? And most of the time it's the disempowering meaning that we've created or the story that is inauthentic about
who we really are or what really happened. And so this is what I talk about in the book. And I share some of my fun experiences working on some of the biggest movies, you know, that I've had the privilege of working on with Kate Hudson and Sylvester Stallone and working on all my children. And I, you know, touched on having gone through my cancer journey, I talk about how I touch on resiliency and how in my career I've gone on over 2000.
auditions and I've only booked like roughly 50 acting jobs. So it comes down to like roughly like a like a roughly around like a 2% success rates with what I do as a professional as a professional. And so how do you keep going? How do you stay motivated? How do you stay inspired to continue along a journey where you constantly are hearing no instead of yes?
And so I talk about how to stay connected and motivated. And it really comes down to what self-identity do you identify with? Is it, for me, was it, do I wanna be famous and do I wanna be making a lot of money or do I wanna be a part of this acting community telling amazing stories and being a part of a legacy of going in there? And even if I don't get the role that I'm auditioning for, I was a part of...
influencing that casting director or that director and helping them find the best actor for that role. And so if you start to look at things from a perspective of service and contribution instead of what can I get out of it, it helps you be able to stay motivated because even if it doesn't work out in your favor, you're still living into and fulfilling on who you are as your self-identity in making a difference in the world. And that's, that was a huge
factor in me helping me just, and even to this day, stay motivated and connected to my goals. And then after seven, eight years of studying acting, finally getting my first studying acting job on all my children, it was a three-year contract. Six months into my three-year contract, I was diagnosed with testicular cancer. And so I talk about the self-identity character that I needed to create in order to go through this five-year cancer.
battle and how to stay focused and resilient in the face of all that as well. And then towards the end of the book, I talk about success principles and what I've learned from working with some of the top acting teachers and directors, and actors in the world and what success principles do they identify with in terms of what they use in order to create their success. So that's what I talk about in my book. And then I... Yeah, a lot of great stuff.
Dr. Nicole (54:55.132)
I'm full of great things.
Be careful, your dreams might come true if you read this book. And so then I turned that into a six-week course during the pandemic when really we couldn't do anything. And so I turned my book into six weeks of actually of writing exercises. And each week we jump online on a Zoom call and the course is called Inspire. And it's all about identifying what your story is about yourself and your life.
Where do you fit into that story? This is where we talk about your being miscast in your own life and then how to rewrite your story so that you're rewriting, much like a screenwriter does, your new story. And I create help, I have a way in which you create your act one, your act two, your act three. And so you are essentially rewriting the story of your life where you are stepping into the movie star of your own life. And after the six weeks...
You are crystal clear about who you are, what you want, what are the obstacles that stand in the way, and you've got this amazing community to support you along that journey moving forward in life. And then...
Dr. Nicole (56:09.983)
Who can benefit from this? Is this a very specific person, like actors, or this is really open to a diverse group of people? Okay.
It's open to anyone. Anyone who's like what we were just talking about today, just anyone who's feeling like maybe a little stuck or maybe a little unclear about what they want to achieve or accomplish in life, or maybe they know what they want, but they're just feeling like maybe they don't have the tools or the strategies or the community to support them along that journey. And then through this course, I realized there was a lot of people who are ready to
like write their own books or now start to do their own podcasts or do their own types of coaching and speaking, but they just haven't had the practice in being in front of audiences. So I created this separate course called Beyond Impact and it's a communications masterclass. And so it essentially teaches people how to become more skillful and strategic and
confident in front of audiences so that you can start sharing your message with the world. And I'm actually starting the next version of that this week. So it's a four week class. We meet every Wednesday for two hours. I actually take scripts, scenes from actually real movies and TV shows, and we do an analysis of a character breakdown of the characters in there. So you can start to...
do an analysis on something other than yourself. So it's easy for us to give advice to other people, but it's hard for us to take it for ourselves. So this is a great way for you to start to learn some of these principles and strategies and practice it. And then I provide the opportunity where you put yourself on camera with someone else in the class, and we get to watch your scene together, and we start to...
Dr. Nicole (57:43.931)
break down and analyze your behaviors, your idiosyncratic behaviors such as, do you look up, do you look down, do you move your mouth, do you raise your eyebrows a lot? And a lot of this stuff can be deterrent to how people receive your communication. And I talk about how there's four different personality types that receive communication. And when you're speaking to an audience, you've got to cycle through
Dr. Nicole (58:23.085)
Dr. Nicole (58:29.284)
Oh, is it?
the way in which you deliver your communication so that it is received by all four different personality types. Some people are visual learners, some are kinesthetic, meaning they need to move, some are auditory, and the way in which you deliver your communication has a huge profound effect on how people receive it, but more importantly, it's all about how you show up.
Dr. Nicole (58:55.027)
and the energy that you bring to your communication because who you are speaks more loudly than what you say. And people feel your communication. If you really wanna create inspiration and have people really listen to you, you've gotta hit them here in their heart center. And most of the time we're so stuck up in our head in analyzing and trying to figure out how to say something that it just kind of bounces off or it just falls flat when we're trying to really.
create some sort of transformational movement or deliver transformational communication rather than informational communication.
Dr. Nicole (59:47.971)
It's so interesting you say that just because I have no background in acting. Like if my life depended on it, I'd probably be gone. But I love speaking and you know, so many people get up there and they're so focused on their PowerPoint or the delivery of their message. And when I, I would sometimes speak for eight hours and doing, you know, different lectures on things in relation to integrative medicine. I'd watch everyone.
and you would see who tunes in, who tunes out. And I would change how I was presenting according to the crowd. And I just found that half the time it didn't matter what I was saying, more was how I was engaging with them, meeting them where they were at, or changing the pitch of my voice, cursing or saying something that wakes them up. And it's just interesting. I find it to be the most fun part of
of the speaking, but I realize now that's not a skill that many people have. Yeah. It's so, so needed. And you're 100% right with everybody receives information so different and we live in a world that most of it is audio based. And there are a lot of visual kinesthetic people out there that are like, huh? You know, the ones that quote unquote did that in school.
Exactly. So that's why I put it together.
Dr. Nicole (01:01:13.963)
And it was just because they weren't auditory learners. So.
Yep. And so if you're interested in finding more information about what I offer, you can go to my website, ColinEgglesfield.com. And my Beyond Impact Communications Class is at AgileArtist.com.
Dr. Nicole (01:01:33.859)
Well, we will put all of those links in our notes, so everyone will be able to access those pretty easily. And I did visit your website. It is very easy to navigate. So that is always a plus. So you should be able to find everything very easily. But thank you again so much. This has been so much fun. Love your journey, your impact that you're making, and the message and the teachings that you're bringing to the community because it is.
so important for people to get to know themselves because that's how they're gonna show up best for their families and their loved ones and everyone else around them.
and just to feel good about themselves.
Dr. Nicole (01:02:15.663)
Yeah, yeah. Well, we hope to have you again and we will talk about another really fun topic.
Sounds good, thanks Dr. Nicole.