ļ»æEpisode 240
Title: Unlocking Life's 2.0: A Journey through Values, Fun, and Generational Change
Host: Dr. Nicole Rivera & Kayla Weidner
________________
Transcription:
Kayla (00:03.501) Okay, Dr. Nicole, you are one of the... Okay, stop, hold on now. Now I have to rewind this. Okay, we got it. Stop. Dr. Nicole, you are one of the most disruptive doctors in integrative medicine that I've seen. But beyond that, you've been making waves in the entrepreneurial space.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (00:06.833) You're so serious.
Kayla (00:30.845) With your successful company, Integrative You, where you're coaching some of the most influential leaders in self-mastery. And this leap in your work begs the question, why, as an integrative medicine doctor who built and grew one of the most successful brick-and-mortar practices on the East Coast, would you take the risk of shifting focus when you were already crushing it?
Dr. Nicole Rivera (01:01.582) It's a really good question. I think really what it comes down to is there are phases of human evolution and not everyone gets to experience this because they reach a certain point that they feel really good where they are in their life.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (01:32.774) I don't, sorry. There was like just a bunch of things that just happened and then it started doing the countdown again and now the clock is down to nine seconds. Did you see that?
Kayla (01:43.945) No.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (01:45.551) Let me...
Kayla (01:46.617) I have one minute and 46 seconds.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (01:49.827) I don't know what's going on here.
Kayla (02:08.677) I don't know, I don't want to risk it. Let me just ask it again. Okay, you are one of the most disruptive doctors in integrative medicine that I've seen, and I've been in the industry for a while. But beyond that, you've been making waves in the entrepreneurial space with your second successful company, IntegrativeU, where you're coaching some of the most influential leaders in self-mastery. So this leap in your work begs the question, why, as an integrative medicine doctor who built and grew one of the most successful brick-and-mortar practices on the East Coast, would you take the risk of shifting focus when you were already crushing it?
Dr. Nicole Rivera (02:53.446) I think really what it comes down to is that my experience was to fill one bucket, there was a sacrifice of another. And unfortunately, I experienced it firsthand. And when my eyes were open to this idea, I realized this was something that was happening with many people that I knew, but also inside of the healthcare practice. And really what I mean by this is
I was able to fill my bucket of living my purpose. I was able to fill my bucket from a vocational success, and a career success perspective. But the other areas that were getting little to no attention and essentially being sacrificed were family, self, and social relationships.
And this was one of the reasons why it took Dr. Nick and I a really long time to decide on having a family. And I can't even say that was 100% intentional. But I also sat back and realized there were so many events that I was missing and birthdays. I was not connecting with my friends very often. I started not really getting invited to things because I didn't show up very often. And
I realized that this was not how I wanted to live my life. I wanted to find some type of balance, but I was so deep in the trenches of entrepreneurship that it was overtaking so many other parts of my life, and I knew there had to be a solution. And I also knew that there was a solution that existed. It wasn't about me recreating the wheel.
And so I embarked on really creating more of this balance. But what I realized is that the people who have lives that they truly enjoy, they wake up every day unbelievably gracious for their life, they feel energized about their day, they truly can tell you that they feel joy on a regular basis. These are individuals that...
Dr. Nicole Rivera (05:14.206) didn't sacrifice. What they did was they synchronized all the different parts of life and they figured out a way to do that. And the way to do that was not what people expect, which is do more, you know, the ultimate strategy, the ultimate protocol, the ultimate manifestation. It was about doing more inner work, figuring out who you are.
What do you value? What is your uniqueness at your core that makes people either love you or hate you? And being able to take the time to calibrate that level of clarity, calibrate it so that you can then create a life around it, but always synchronize all of those important parts of life, from relationships to family to business to...
purpose to personal, that's where the magic is. And that's what I want to do for people now. Because health is a part and you can have great health, but that doesn't mean that you have great relationships. That doesn't mean you have great finances. It doesn't mean that. And the same goes on the other end of the spectrum. You could have all the money in the world, but you could be divorced multiple times, have no...
true friends that support you, that you can rely on. And what does the money matter? You know, having your health is always great, but if you have great health, but you're not able to use that great health to do things you love and spend time with the people you love, then also it doesn't feel as good.
Kayla (07:06.857) So it sounds like this was more of a personal and professional change for you, kind of just creating a place where you can raise the standard for human experience overall as opposed to just one's health because that's not all it is. So how has the journey of creating Integrative You and pursuing your own limitless 2.0 life as I've seen you say?
Dr. Nicole Rivera (07:41.41) My personal experience is that the phrase that I say now is, what gets you here won't get you there.
And I have two other phrases, but we'll get there. But what I realized is that I did create a good life for myself. And I did on paper, there were a lot of people that were like, wow, look what she has been able to accomplish. But there was something uneasy in my own body, in my own psyche. And I really didn't know what it was. But I was so busy that I didn't even really have time to dive into that.
And of course, you blame it on all the things. Oh, well, you know, I have a lot going on or oh, you know, there's a lot happening at work or whatever it is. And you just continue to put it aside, put it aside. And then it, unfortunately, if you're like me, you have to hit a pretty extreme situation before you pay attention. And I really advocate for people to not do that, but hey, everyone learns at their own curve.
Kayla (08:49.478) You all do.
Yeah.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (08:53.106) But I just hit a point where I just knew, and don't get me wrong, I didn't have all of the answers. I didn't have the utmost clarity. I just knew that I needed to take a step back to take multiple steps forward. I just knew that having the brick-and-mortar office and having the integrative medicine practice, it wasn't just that. That wasn't it for me. There was more.
And again, did I know exactly what that was? No, but I knew that the busyness factor that was happening, the business bucket overtaking all the others, I knew that had to change. And that had to change so that I could step into that 2.0, even if I didn't really know what that looked like. And...
When you have this level of clarity, you sit back and you look at all the clients that you've worked with and you think, wow, that person that really struggled to get better with their health, that makes sense because it wasn't necessarily about the protocol or their commitment or their discipline. It was about the fact that they had no vision beyond being well. Why do you wanna be well? Why do you wanna get rid of these symptoms?
What is the bigger picture around how this will change your life? How will this create a 2.0 of your life? And that is really the biggest thing. It's not about one area superior to the other. They're all equivalent and everyone is different with which area needs the most attention foundationally. So obviously there are some people there's a many people that I worked with that health was at the foundation.
Once they got their health back, they were able to succeed in the other areas of life. But a lot of the ones that didn't succeed in their health, it's because there was something else that was more superior. And that could have been their mind and all of the limitations and all of the trauma they experienced. It could have been more in the realm of social relationships, feeling betrayed, isolated, alone, you know, every single person.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (11:15.618) is extremely, extremely different. And so now some of the principles that I've applied in integrative medicine, I realize are so applicable to this concept. And so one of the things I've always said is, you don't know what you don't know. And that was around leveraging better data for health. But also you don't know what you don't know when it comes to the unconscious limitations, limiting beliefs that are holding you back from a greater life. And Dr. Nick and I realized, wow, we have very unique ways of gathering this data, bypassing the unconscious mind, and really being able to decipher what is holding you back that
you don't think about it's, it's totally running in the background of your psyche, saying, you can't do that, that's too scary. You can't do that. Because you can't control that. And those are the things that keep us paralyzed, they keep us stuck. And the second thing that I've always said in healthcare, which now I realized, again, applies elsewhere is how it's not about what you do, but how you do it. And so
When it comes to strategy, strategy is one of the key things that we have brought to the table in integrative medicine. I feel like that was what set us apart because people would come to us and say, I did the elimination diet, I did supplements, I did infrared sauna, I did detox, none of it worked. But the question is, is did you do it in the right combination, or in the right sequence? And the same exact thing goes for...
creating this new version of you, this new limitless 2.0 version of you and your life is do you know what is at the foundation of it all? And also, it's not about just collapse, like, oh, collapse your limiting beliefs. Oh, get rid of your limiting beliefs. Positive thinking. You could collapse all you want. If you have zero clarity on who you are and what your vision is, you're going to stay stuck. You can have a bunch of clarity.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (13:34.21) and still have all those limits running in the back of your brain, you're going to get stuck. And then if you don't know how to apply practical tools to really calibrate your body and your mind to your new vision, you're going to be stuck. And so that's where the magic happens is getting extremely, extremely strategic in how you go about creating this.
Kayla (14:02.65) I am curious if you can share a story about one of your clients. I know you work with some pretty influential people and their discretion is important to you. So you don't have to name any names, although I want you to. But I am wondering what areas of life seem to be the most sacrificed or chaotic and how that
creating that clarity and that synchronicity that you're talking about really impacted their lives. So kind of two questions there.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (14:34.714) What I would say is foundationally as a society, and I can't speak to all countries of the world, but let's talk about the US, is that there has been a lot of programming since we've been very young that have created a lot of limits. And a prime example of this is when you...
go to school, you have your teachers and your principals and your vice principals, and you have these people that are classified as your superiors. And what they say goes, regardless if it makes sense or not, what they say goes because they're in a position of authority. And for myself, I got in trouble a lot. Because
certain things just didn't make sense to me. I got in trouble going to Sunday school as a Catholic. I got in trouble going to a conventional public school. And it was primarily, I wasn't a rebel. I just authentically wanted to understand because certain things didn't add up. And I realized that a large portion of the world is, things are not black and white.
There is a lot of gray. There's a lot of gray in this idea of science. Science changes every single day. It changes every hour because that's the beauty of it is that science changes based off of new data, new discoveries, new observations, and new testing. And we are constantly in a state of change, but then the world will say,
that you should not change and you should be scared of change and you should stay comfortable. And so what I find is that the mind, foundationally, is a huge part of the things that will create major imbalances in those other buckets. So we have this societal foundation of don't speak up, don't challenge, don't ask questions. And
Dr. Nicole Rivera (16:51.618) Unfortunately, a lot of both school and the workforce has ripped us from our common sense and our critical thinking. So we have that foundationally, but then we also have a lot of organizations that want to tell us what to believe, what's right and what is wrong. And this goes from religion and different organizations and what am I trying to say?
cults even, but really it comes down to believe this because this is what's right and wrong. But really right and wrong is in the eye of the beholder. That's actually dictated on your core values of who you are as a human. There is no right and wrong. That would create duality. That is a complete violation of physics. So everything is always in balance. There's always going to be good and there's always going to be bad. So to focus on a one-sided
life is going to keep you really stuck and unhappy. So that, and then in addition to the things that we experience with our families, our upbringing, it doesn't have to be family, but this could be friends, this could be professors, this could be mentors, whomever, but they will often share their perceptions of the world of bad things happen to good people. You know, money is the root of all evil.
every person has had a different experience with what that is. And that just goes right into that memory bank. And that is something that will then be a compass to how you look at the world and how you make decisions. So, so many people have lost their ability to understand who they are as a person. And a lot of people are terrified to be their true authentic selves because they want to be liked.
They want to have a community. They don't want to be isolated. They don't want to be ostracized. They don't want to be criticized. And that is one of the ultimate things foundationally that I think is keeping all of us prisoners. It's keeping us trapped. It is keeping us from the life that we really, really want. And then the longer that goes on, the longer you live a life that's outside of your values because you have to subscribe to someone else's.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (19:15.918) or some religions, you're gonna have physical symptoms. Your health is gonna go down the tubes or you're gonna make a lot of bad decisions on who you should marry and who you should be friends with. And so I feel like after that, every person, it's a little different. But I would say the biggest thing that I've seen is the mind to the physical symptoms with health.
Kayla (19:42.389) Okay. So in that regard, what advice would you give another influential leader that may think they're not living authentically or may think that perhaps I'm not understanding what my values are, but this is the kind of person, these influential leaders, they still may not be living in their values. And they, even though they've grown so...
Dr. Nicole Rivera (20:00.358) Mm-hmm.
Kayla (20:10.481) substantially in their careers and their lives, they can still be stuck and find a limit for themselves. And so, you know, they're in pursuit of a generational change, whether it be wealth, health, or global change. What would be your one piece of advice to them if they're in this pursuit, but they feel stuck?
Dr. Nicole Rivera (20:38.13) That's a great question. And what I would say is, it's two parts. Because when I think back to my journey is one, I did not know what values were, I had no idea what that was. But I graduated with a degree. And I was very driven. I had a very strong will. And I had a vision. And I was like, I'm going to go for it. Failure is not an option. And so I went for it. And I
just I was like a bull in a china shop. Some people called me a tornado. I made shit happen and I'm sure there was a level of unconscious manifestation that was happening because I would set such strong intentions and they would come to life. But I also had to be in control because it was always about the how. Like I was writing down master plans of how this is gonna happen. And so I led with that.
And that's what they actually call manufactured manifestation is when you're always focused on the how you have this tactical plan. So chances are it will work, but it will cap you out and it will keep you pretty stressed. So as I mentioned before, is what gets you here or there will not necessarily be what gets you to that next level, that 2.0. And so I realized I can't...
there's no more hours in the day. I can't work harder. I get this idea of working smarter, but I don't really get it. And I just, I was like, I need, I don't know what to do, I need help. And so I was introduced to Dr. Demartini. I was actually introduced to him a long time ago, but his work just seemed, it came back into my life saying, hey, it's time for you to listen.
And he talked all about values. And for me, it wasn't necessarily about his lecture. It was about my observation of a man who was so energized and so lit up that he was able to do a seven-day seminar that ran 15 to 16 hours a day. He barely ate, he barely slept, he was on, like on. He was not tired. And I'm like...
Dr. Nicole Rivera (23:03.27) and what the hell is this guy doing? Is he doing drugs? I don't know. And really what it came down to is that he just kept saying, he's like, I live in my values and I delegate the rest. There was part of me that was like, good for you, man. I can't delegate everything. But as soon as I let that guard down, I let, you know, my bullshit settle. I, I really looked at him and I was, I
was just so impressed with the fact that he was so clear on who he was. And he focused his days to prioritize living in his values. And so he prioritized researching, reading, teaching. And he was humble enough that he teaches on podcasts for free. Like it wasn't all about you have to pay a premium rate for me to speak or lecture. And it made me start thinking.
I don't even know what I value. I don't know what's important to me. So I got clarity on that, and I started really using that as a compass to make decisions. I started using that as a compass of where to say yes and where to say no. But then also, two of my highest values that have been the most clear since this exercise that I did many years ago was leadership and teaching. And I have upheld those two values.
almost every day for a very long time, over a decade. But it was more in the recent few years that again, that lurking feeling of there's something off, there's something missing, there's something that you need to acknowledge. And when you do the values exercise, it's like, where do you spend your time? Where do you spend your money? Where are you interested? And I always had like travel, food.
conversation, fashion, and I was just like, I don't understand. Like fashion is not a value. I don't understand. And when I was able to take the step back and I looked at the big picture, I realized one of my values was fun, loving spirit. And I sure as hell will tell you it was a large portion of my life, especially when my career was successful. I was not having any fun because I was busy. I was working or I was stressed about.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (25:28.314) working or I was putting out fires. And my other was an expansive adventure. And this is about doing different adventurous things out in nature that either challenge and expand my mind or expand my physical capabilities. That was another one completely abandoned. I didn't have time for it. I if anything I could go for a run occasionally. So I realized that 50%
of my values of who I am at my core was on the back burner. And it made perfect sense as to why I felt uneasy. And it made perfect sense as to why I needed to now dive into this 2.0 of what does life look like with encompassing all four of my values.
Kayla (26:04.211) Right.
Kayla (26:24.585) So values, that's where you should start if you're starting to feel stuck or like you're hitting a ceiling or limiting yourself in some way.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (26:33.242) And if you haven't, if you've done values in the past, some people are very fast growth. They're like constantly moving and shaking, like their life, it's like almost like every five years is crammed into a year, that's me. So it was three years and I was like, no, I know my values. But I ended up redoing it because I had this hunch of there's something missing here. So even if you've done your values, one,
Kayla (26:43.744) Great.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (27:02.594) If you can't remember your values, they're not your values. Your values are like who you are at your core. Like you should be able to rattle them off. Like I love when people are, I'm like, oh yeah, I know my values. Wait, wait, I don't, did I put them in Google Drive or like, did I write them on that pad? Hold on, hold on, let me go get them. I'm like, no, no. We're redoing your values because they're bullshit. Like that's not your values if you can't remember them.
Kayla (27:25.885) So if they're at your core, do they change?
Dr. Nicole Rivera (27:31.157) I don't think that they change. I think that they get further defined.
That's really what it comes down to. So like my version of leadership, what it was 13 years ago, is actually very different than my version of leadership now. So that's the thing is when you get into the nitty-gritty of doing your values, you have your value, and then you have a short description after that is very specific to you. Because...
Kayla (27:38.587) Okay.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (28:07.986) A lot of clients that I work with, a lot of times when we get to talking and talking about their values, it's partly because of the attraction I'm sure that Nick and I have is a lot of them, they crave connection, connection and community. But if I put connection as their value, every single one of them, connection means something very different. Some of it's more family rooted. Some of it is more.
a community rooted some of it is more having a big social group like some of it it's about being like having vulnerable. What was my client saying the other day? It was hers was unfiltered. She's like, I want vulnerable, unfiltered connection. Some people want compassionate connection. They're looking for like support through compassion, they want to bounce ideas off of people and they want to feel
Kayla (28:49.501) Yes.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (29:00.794) Like they have their back and they have compassion for where they're at or what they're trying to create. So that's really the cool thing about it is that it's not about the value, it's actually about your version of that value.
Kayla (29:17.369) I heard you say earlier about fun-loving spirit was one of yours, and I've known that about you. I also have noticed the words, and have more fun, are at the end of every single offer you put into the world. It's always and have more fun. Most of us normal people, and I don't mean to offend anyone when I say normal, but...
Dr. Nicole Rivera (29:29.086) Mm-hmm.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (29:37.492) Thank you.
Kayla (29:44.589) We would think that the one-percenters of the world's, the global influential leaders are too busy to be concerned about fun. So why do you place emphasis in this area when you work with extremely busy entrepreneurial leaders?
Dr. Nicole Rivera (29:53.908) Mm-hmm.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (30:03.172) One thing I will preface with is if you're a person that doesn't care about fun, we're probably not gonna work well together. And that's okay, there's nothing wrong with that. I just want working in chronic illness for a decade.
I realized that one of the factors for these individuals that were so sick is that everything was heavy. Everything. It wasn't just about their health. Everything was heavy. Everything was chaos. Everything was extreme. They authentically could not remember the last time they had a good time that they laughed.
when you came into our practice, you either stayed or you left because even in the most extreme situations, you know, the most extreme health conditions, we were still going to prioritize creating a fun and light environment in our office. And we made jokes and we would tease and you know, we would we literally had a giant
island in the middle of our office where patients would come and like on Saturdays, especially we would have snacks out, they would bring snacks, I would find clients talking to each other sitting at the island. And that I truly think was a huge part of their healing process was that fun, loving light environment. Because when we closed our physical office, there was a large portion of people that didn't move forward with us.
And I realized at that time, it wasn't necessarily anything personal. It was one of the reasons why they stayed is because it was a place for them to come where they were able to feel that lighthearted, playful, fun, loving spirit. And they didn't get that in a lot of other parts of their life or parts of their environment. And so I feel like it is a really, really big part of having...
Dr. Nicole Rivera (32:16.088) a great life. And I, what, one of the goals that I have for the people that I work with is I don't want you to go on a vacation every year because I want you to feel like your life is a vacation. I want you to feel like I don't need to reset. I don't need to escape. I don't need to do that because my life is designed to live in accordance to my values and my family's values.
Kayla (32:46.165) That is so inspiring.
Kayla (32:50.405) I know that you and Dr. Nick have made so many changes in your lives and because you're having so much fun and you are creating a life that you don't want to escape from, that orbit that you have around you, it affects everyone in your lives. And so I'm wondering, you know, we can see it from the outside, but I'm wondering if you could tell us.
What ways have the people closest to you been influenced by your own pursuit of generational change and a life filled with purpose and fun and connection?
Dr. Nicole Rivera (33:28.948) I'm actually laughing right now because I'm pretty sure, if you could hear my voice, I'm pretty sure that I messed up my sister and my mom with my work I've been doing. And some of you might be like, what is she actually talking about? So one of the reasons when you go on our website and you go on our platforms, you're gonna see this term generational change. And this was something that we have talked a lot about in the world of integrative medicine, in the world of healthcare.
because there is this idea, this proven idea of epigenetics. And so one, your genes can change based off of environment. Part of the environment is your mind. So you can turn genes on and off depending on mindset, intention, collapsing, and limiting beliefs, but it's also based off of biochemical changes, detoxing bad stuff out, putting good stuff in, et cetera. But...
There is also this idea of transgenerational trauma. So, beliefs, limiting beliefs, different types of traumatic experiences, if it was abandonment, if it was fear, if it was grief, loss, whatever it may be. If the magnitude was significant enough in one event, or if there was a compounding of the same emotion.
constant fear, constant worry, constant anxiety, then that will change our genes and it will carry on to the next generation. This is sometimes why when you hear about little kids that are saying stuff and they're worried about something or they're almost exhibiting anxiety and you're like, you're two years old, how do you even know what that is? What's going on here? Or they say something, you're like,
Kayla (35:18.618) together.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (35:25.88) where did you hear that? How do you know that? And that is sometimes not their experience. It is what has actually been passed to them. And so with that, it only takes one person, we always say it only takes one brave soul or one risk taker that will create generational change backward and
Dr. Nicole Rivera (35:55.112) a deep dive journey into everything that I'm talking about this clarity, collapsing my old shit that again is not in my conscious brain and now creating a calibration to my new and improved higher self. And going through the collapse work, I didn't tell anybody. I was just doing my thing behind the scenes. And
I talked to my sister because we live in separate states. So over Christmas, she told me that she was bawling her eyes out and she had no idea why. But she felt a lot lighter after a few days. And her husband goes, this is Nicole, isn't she? Isn't it? She's doing this. And that's how they know. And so she reaches out and she's like, what are you doing? And I was like, that's interesting you asked because I just released.
Kayla (36:42.133) Great.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (36:50.576) some serious shit from like childhood and all this. So that was kind of funny. And then my mom got really sick right after Christmas and she was coughing and she was having pain in her pancreas and she started freaking out like something really wrong with pancreatitis. And ironically, that was an area.
trying to remember exactly what I was holding in my pancreas because I did a very deep dive meditation with Dr. Nick and it was not worthy, feeling not worthy and that was associated with my pancreas so there was an identity of not feeling worthy and so I went through the process and I worked through that and then this happened to me the voice that I'd
Kayla (37:30.507) Hmm.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (37:42.848) mucus coming out of my sinuses, I had things coming out of my throat and I just intuitively was like, this is old. This mucus I feel like is from my teens. This stuff is gross and it has been in there. I am not sick. There was no fever. I was not run down. It was just stuff pouring out of my head. And so this is something for people to know is that one, the body keeps score, and two, when you go on this type of journey to heal yourself and do that deeper inner work, you will have physical symptoms that come up.
those symptoms, I'm navigating them through different laser therapies. That's the beauty of the integrative medicine is I have tools, but this is all just part of this release. It's not just about releasing the emotion, it's releasing what the emotion did to the physical tissue. So it's really important to have a physical tissue.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (38:39.644) how the people around me are affected.
Kayla (38:43.701) Do you feel like after that release, do you feel like you're one step closer or higher in becoming your limitless self? Does it kind of come in waves, in other words, of growth?
Dr. Nicole Rivera (39:03.204) It's a great question. You know, I think that in the beginning of my journey with meditation and deeper work, I was very attached to specific outcomes. And I think now, I'm just to the point of surrendering to whatever happens if I have a if I notice a huge change in my life or some crazy opportunity comes in now because I was able to release that great.
If that doesn't happen, that's okay too. But I'm also paying attention to the subtleties. I'm paying attention just to very small, subtle changes that can be happening. Sometimes you see them in your dog. Your dog is more chill or more loving. Sometimes you see them in your kids. Sometimes you see it with a complete stranger with, wow, like.
that person gave me their card at the grocery store. And then I ended up getting a little discount when I did like, you just kind of observe the subtleties. I'm posed to being attached to, oh, now that I released that, I'll manifest that million dollars I've always wanted. Like, it's not exactly how it happens. And some people, it could be that black and white.
But I think we need to learn how to one, surrender, and two, appreciate those subtle changes.
Kayla (40:30.301) Well, I'm glad you brought up some of the positive changes. That was what I was originally asking you, but you gave some of the negative ones. And knowing you personally, I've seen firsthand the positive ripple effect in the world that you have made. But.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (40:45.624) Oh yeah, of course. It's definitely not, there's no, so what I always say that I think a lot of people need to understand is that there needs to be a death for a birth, there needs to be a breakdown for a build-up. So that doesn't always mean pain per se, but a lot of people are scared to eliminate the one friend in their life who is not really a friend. If anything, they bring you down.
You know, they're always a drag. They're really judgmental. They're always negative. And they're just like, oh, they've been around forever and they're loyal and they're this and they're that. But they don't understand that if you let one go, then that other person is gonna come into your life that is truly aligned with who you are now, that is going to be supportive and collaborative and vulnerable and unfiltered and all of those great things. And so that's very relevant to this process is,
You know, I had to let go of a 6,000 square foot office with 25 employees that I worked so fucking hard for. I literally like blood, sweat, tears, all of my money like to create that. And I, that was hard. That was really, really fucking hard. And I let go of that so that I could birth something bigger. And I don't even wanna say better. It was just more.
better for me, more aligned for me. And that is something that is uncomfortable for a lot of people. And it's just, there's so much beauty, who I am as a person now, like the way that I wake up and feel every day, I just feel like, I swear I would have never, I would have never said this to anyone. But like, I look back, I'm like, I think I woke up with anxiety every day.
I just powered through it. Like I woke up genuinely like another day, same shit. More fires to put out, more chaos. Like just never feeling good in my skin, never feeling calm in my brain, never feeling like I had options. Like I didn't have, I didn't really have the option to just like.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (43:04.348) take a break and disconnects. All these people needed me. I'm not allowed to do that. I'm a doctor of chronic illness people. I'm not allowed to do that. I have 25 employees. What if they need something? I lived my life for other people. I don't do that anymore.
Kayla (43:19.089) Thank you for sharing that. That was really vulnerable and for all of you to say, but I think it's important that a lot of people hear that in their journeys and understand that there are people that are going through that. A lot of people feel that same sentiment, but the fact that you're sitting here saying, I made that bold change, it was scary, but you're on the other end of it and you're happy.
and you're fun and you're enjoying life so much more, but you haven't had to sacrifice your success. So which ripple do you wanna reach the farthest in creating your generational change and in your coaching experiences as well? What is that main ripple that you want to reach the farthest?
Dr. Nicole Rivera (44:12.868) I feel like a huge catalyst to this entire conversation and this very bold move that I made a few years ago was my son. I realized that one, I was not gonna be, I wasn't gonna be the parent that couldn't be present because I was pulled in a million directions. I wasn't gonna work 17-hour days anymore because I had to and I couldn't be part of his life.
I really wanted to give him what he needs to tap into his genius and to have a ton of fun with him, with Nick, to explore and be adventurous. And I just knew that wasn't negotiable. That was going to happen. And I knew I had to make a change in order to make that happen. And I think foundationally what I want...
to create in the world, working with other people, is something similar. And I'm not saying that my priority is everyone's kids, but I didn't do anything to him. I did the work on myself. Nick did the work on himself. And we realized that how we show up is going to dictate
everything about him and the family dynamic, but it dictates our success. It dictates our finances. It dictates everything. So what I personally love doing is I love working with couples and families or people aspiring for that so that they can get this right, figure out how to balance and
Dr. Nicole Rivera (46:05.96) create a life according to their values, figure out their family values, and figure out how they're going to be able to live more present with their families, but still have all of the successes that they desire. And I know that if we can do this, that family, the other family, my family, we will ripple out to create a global generational change.
So if we can make generational changes inside of families, then all the generations after the people doing the work, that's going to ripple into the world. But then also just that one family is gonna immediately ripple out into the world.
Kayla (46:55.945) So you're saying, you know, whether it's wealth or your business or your family or wherever you're feeling like they're sacrificing, that if you bring your work internal and your work is self-mastery, it's working on yourself, that is actually where the balance comes from as opposed to...
My children are having a hard time. I'm gonna go get a child's coach. My business is terrible. I'm gonna go get a wealth advisor. Instead, think I'm going to master myself and balance within, and that will create the ripple in their lives in a more synchronicity and balanced way.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (47:28.072) Mm-hmm.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (47:49.899) What I will say to that is there's an 80-20 rule. 80% is about the inner work, the self-mastery, and 20% is about the tactical tools. Most of us are working in the inverse. I sure as hell worked in the inverse. It was 80% about what needs to happen, what needs to be done, do I need to invest in the coach and the healthcare professional, into this and into that? And then 20% of it was the inner work. Maybe not even that.
probably like 2%, to be honest. And when we flip that switch, is that 80% is doing that work, the self-mastery, shifting the beliefs, creating the vision, creating the calibration and synchronization. And then the 20% is who do you need to hire that's smarter than you in that field? So do I have...
amazing set of wealth advisors, yes, I 100% do. They know things that I don't know, I don't care to know. I'm not gonna, it's not something that I feel passionately about researching and reading tons of books, but it is something that's valuable to my life and my family's life. And the same thing, you know, why people hire me is they might be crushing it in other parts of their areas of life. Like, they got the business. They have a great marriage. They have great kids.
They have money, but they're like, I just can't with my health. I can't I can't figure it out. I don't I need I need you. I need your data. I need your knowledge. I need your experience. So I do think that those tools are really important and hiring those experts, but you have to you have to be able to embrace that 8020 and the last thing that I'll say is that throughout
the 13 years that I've been working with families, it was about half, probably six years in, took six years, that I realized working with a kid alone, siloed, and not working with the parents was not a good option. Because a lot of what's happening with the kid foundationally is correlated to the parents.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (50:11.695) knowing or unknowing. So sometimes it's this transgenerational stuff. So it's not, nothing is conscious. And sometimes it's more around, the parents can't see what they can't see. You know what I mean? Like if you operate a certain way or you use certain language like you don't know any different. You don't know, oh, this might be contributing to why my kid's acting this way or why my kid is struggling with this. Like, so it's a matter of,
I work with the parents in order to help the child and that is where I see the magic happen.
Kayla (50:49.849) I'm wondering if there's any other questions that you. That you want me to ask you.
Kayla (50:59.696) I mean, that's my 10, but...
There's so much.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (51:05.908) Maybe just like a wrap up question.
Kayla (51:07.925) Yeah, so there's so much more like we have to do this again, because there's, I want to go deeper. There are questions that I want to ask. Yeah.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (51:15.223) then let's just cut it off here because I feel like this should be a podcast to be honest.
Kayla (51:20.901) Well, I would have participated more and like not just not that I feel like if it was a podcast, I don't know. Well, I mean, it could be, but my questions were trying to create that foundation for us. But the next one, I really think that we should talk about the work that you're doing and how the how like this was like the why and the personal
Dr. Nicole Rivera (51:49.995) Hmm?
Kayla (51:51.029) and the next one will be more.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (51:52.623) Ahem. Mm-hmm.
Kayla (51:56.249) Yeah.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (51:57.391) I think it should be a podcast.
Kayla (52:02.695) Okay, well, I have to have a wrap up then if we're going to do that. Let me think of a wrap up question quick.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (52:21.208) I could just say like my closing thing would be.
Kayla (52:27.633) Okay, go for it.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (52:31.311) So all in all, I feel like as we wrap up this conversation, the biggest thing that I would say is if you are feeling unsettled and you can't necessarily put words on it, but you just feel unfulfilled, you feel unsettled, you just are not 100% content. It's time to really ask yourself, what...
is missing. What is that 2.0? Is it time for that for that 2.0? Because we change as people as we get older, we have new experiences, we have new jobs, we move new locations, we learn, and we gain wisdom. And we get to a point that things that used to really fulfill us relationships that used to fulfill us
Don't feel the same. And it's not about judging yourself, it's about just saying, what is this? What's going on here? Is it time for me to look a little bit deeper to see who I am now? And does this require me to start making decisions that will help me to create this 2.0 that aligns, so I can feel...
energized and excited and on purpose again.
Kayla (54:05.909) The work you and Dr. Nick do is incredible and I've watched it firsthand and it's really inspiring. So I want everyone to be able to understand where they could get started with you, whether it's just a course or whether it's your mastermind or whether it's one-on-one, how do they get in touch with you?
Dr. Nicole Rivera (54:29.739) Our lovely website designed by yours truly. It's not me, her.
And our website is definitely chock full of information. I will say it's like constantly a work in progress, primarily because I always have new fun inventive ideas. But right now, working one-to-one with us is been available for many years. And that is something super easy that you can access at any time. You could talk to our team about questions, how it works. We have videos on how it works.
But some of the other things that we have recently developed is courses with live coaching and soon to be live events, which we're very, very excited about. But this is a way for you to get this foundational knowledge. You can read it, watch it at your own pace, but then hop in with real life questions, how to navigate.
this material and apply it to your life. And we are very, very active in our community, constantly answering questions. We do lives every week, we do more comprehensive lives and workshops every month. So there's a lot of magic happening in there. We also are going to be kicking off our Italian retreats. So we are in the process of putting together all of the amazing details around that. Italy is one of my favorite places and
My main goal is for people to learn how to live in the now and live in the present by going there and to really just have a boatload of fun and see the amazing scenery and literally immerse yourself in the beautiful ocean there and also gain some wisdom around your values, get some clarity while you're there. But it's really actually all about having a shit ton of fun and drinking a lot of really good wine.
Kayla (56:24.701) That sounds amazing. We will link everything in the show notes that you're looking for to connect with us. And thank you so much. It's a lot of fun.
Dr. Nicole Rivera (56:35.171) Thank you.
